I’m still using the breastfeeding app because I’m hoping my lack of sleep could be a mitigating factor in a case of attempted murder.
(“From the notes in this app, your Honour, it is clear that the baby’s been waking up to feed at least five times a night. The defendant has not slept for longer than two hours in a block for months.
Clearly I can’t be held accountable for my actions if someone tries to talk to me or if they look in my general direction.
You will surely be able to understand the defendant’s actions better, your Honour, if we told you that the victim not only failed to respond but also looked bored and annoyed when the defendant wished her a “Good morning” upon entering the shop.”)