Trying to get back to work

I found a babysitter to entertain the baby for three hours in the morning while I work. Today was the first day.

I spent the first hour walking around the house confused, picking random objects up and placing them back down, feeling empty-handed and empty-headed.
Spent the second hour sitting down at my laptop and getting back up again, not being able to concentrate.
Spent the last hour stressed because I got no work done.
I’m currently wasting the last ten minutes of our babysitter’s time on writing this down.

I clearly need to get better at this.

Mitigating factors in an attempted murder case

I’m still using the breastfeeding app because I’m hoping my lack of sleep could be a mitigating factor in a case of attempted murder.

(“From the notes in this app, your Honour, it is clear that the baby’s been waking up to feed at least five times a night. The defendant has not slept for longer than two hours in a block for months.

Clearly I can’t be held accountable for my actions if someone tries to talk to me or if they look in my general direction.

You will surely be able to understand the defendant’s actions better, your Honour, if we told you that the victim not only failed to respond but also looked bored and annoyed when the defendant wished her a “Good morning” upon entering the shop.”)

Cleaning out my closet

I told myself I was first going to get rid of all of the clothes I’ve had for more than ten years. Then I realised I’d have to throw away 85% of my favourite clothes.
If I did that, I’d just be left with “clothes I’ll wear when I lose seven kilos” and “clothes I should really start wearing, I don’t know why I never do” and those don’t even count as clothes. Yet.

And this, my dear, is how “cleaning out my closet” turned into “reorganising my closet”. Again.