I feel like a fraud shouting at my kids to watch how they’re eating considering that most of the stains on my clothes originate from me missing my mouth when trying to feed myself.
Visible stains on my shirt at the moment:
– front: coffee and some egg
– all down the back: baby puke
Time since I put this shirt on:
– 44 minutes
Chances I’ll keep the shirt on all day while actively raising the number of stains:
– very high