I’m sure I read somewhere that if you eat a doughnut while walking quickly, you’re actually losing weight. I’m sure that it said it was scientifically proved.
I just received a confirmation email from Amazon telling me that last night, at 3.38 a.m., Night-time-me thought it would be an amazing idea to buy alphabet magnets for our fridge. Since I have almost no recollection of this, I’m convinced that Night-time-me and Day-time-me are two separate entities. This means I bear no responsibility for the absurd purchases and I can enjoy Night-time-me’s spontaneity completely guilt free. Lovely.
That strange feeling when you’re looking at your baby in his nappy at the doctor’s appointment and you irrationally fear that he’s shrunk. That awkward feeling when you realise that he’s wearing his sister’s nappy which is three sizes too big.
Some of the mums with newborns and mums-to-be might find this useful when dealing with a sleepy baby:
I call this move “The slow drop” and it consists of 6 stages:
Stage 1 (preparatory stage): make yourself comfortable on the bed but make sure there’s lots of space on one side of you (if you’re right handed, free up the space on the right hand side)
Stage 2 (comfortable stage): let the clingy baby fall asleep on top of you because that’s the only way you can get him to sleep
Stage 3 (lowering stage): when you’re sure he’s asleep, start the descend. Lower him towards the bed, half a centimetre each minute, so that he doesn’t feel that he’s being moved
Stage 4 (the riskiest stage): put him down on the bed next to you. Stop breathing so that nothing disturbs his sleep. Don’t move! And make sure at least one part of your body’s still in touch with his.
Stage 5 (waiting stage): start moving away from the baby. If you notice any change in his breathing pattern, stop moving and get back into the previous position.
Stage 6 (freedom stage): slowly get out of the bed. Try to remember why you got up. Get back into bed and take a power nap because the baby’s about to wake up in 10 minutes. If you’re lucky.
I’m following the advice of sleeping when the baby sleeps, so I’m not sleeping at all.
The joys of being a mum to a newborn: when he’s loud at night, I wish he’d just be quiet so I could sleep; when he’s quiet, I can’t sleep because I’m constantly checking if he’s breathing. I should come up with a scale for the perfect loudness of breathing and, instead of sleep training, start night-noise-training him.
Only two years later, I have already forgotten so much about newborns! I’m experiencing it all over again now: The way babies open and close their tiny fists, their random reflexive shakes, the wonderful smell of their warm necks, their confused stares and how they inevitably always dip their (so far) useless feet in poo while you’re changing their nappy.
The first night at home with two kids was so easy! After I put the ear plugs in, both of them were completely silent! The only thing that bothered me was Jay constantly getting up during the night for some reason. But I guess you can’t have it all…
Two best games with a toddler ever:
1. The game in which Molly uses my back as a playground for her Lego figures which means a free massage for me (the part with the figures jumping up and down was a bit painful but well worth it because them going down the slide was just heavenly!),
2. The game in which I chill on the sofa while Molly peels mandarins and hands them over for me to eat.
Any other suggestions on how to make her do nice things for me disguised as a game?
Loads of people thought I would appreciate it if they gave me suggestions on how to convince the baby to come out already. I was told to have spicy food, to eat a lot of pineapple and to have sex. Also, apparently I should walk a lot, stretch and/or climb lots of stairs. My neighbour told me to clean the windows. I’m not sure she was talking about it in connection to the baby though. That might have been just general life advice.